Samo budi to što jesi / Just be who you are

Budi svoja! Toliko si bitna, neponovljiva, neprocenjiva! Zašto nam je toliko teško da u to poverujemo? Osećam koliko darova sam primila, samim rođenjem, samim postankom. Iskra tvorca je u svima nama, a šta mi radimo sa njom? Upoređujemo se sa drugima, imitiramo, kopiramo, slušamo druge da bismo bili prihvaćeni, da bismo bili dobri roditeljima, komšijama, prijateljima, rodbini, učiteljici, mužu, koleginici, šefu… svima samo ne sebi!

Dugo već imam potrebu da napišem tekst na temu autentičnosti, ali nisam znala kako. Prepoznala sam koliko je važno da budemo svoji, da komuniciramo sa sobom, da čujemo sebe, iskažemo sebe i ispoštujemo sebe, jer je to jedini način da budemo istinski ispunjeni i srećni. Umela sam da prepoznam autentičnost kod drugih ljudi i divila sam se tome kad neko samo jeste ono što jeste i radi ono što voli, bez laži, usiljenosti i potrebe da bilo šta dokaže bilo kome. Jer kada živiš ono što jesi, tebe stvarno ne interesuje šta će neko da misli o tome šta imaš da kažeš ili da li se nekome sviđa ili ne sviđa to što radiš. Jer kada živimo i radimo podržavajući svoju autentičnost mi smo srećni i zadovoljni, ispunjavamo svoju svrhu samim tim što jesmo i to je naša nagrada. Korist od toga je višestruka jer se naša ispunjenost životom koji volimo i na kome smo zahvalni preliva i na druge ljude i daje im zeleno svetlo da se otvore za tu mogućnost da je istinska sreća tako jednostavna, toliko obična da je često zanemarujemo, odbacujemo kao suviše očiglednu.

Čiji život živimo? Šta je zaista važno u životu?

Bez obzira na to što sam svesna koliko je važno živeti autentično i u skladu sa svojim bićem, moram da priznam da nisam još uvek uspela u tome. Pitam se često ko sam uistinu ja i šta je to što ja zaista želim? Toliko dugo sam živela iz glave, iz uverenja svojih roditelja i okoline, da više nisam sigurna gde leži moja autentičnost. Koja je korist od toga da živimo život za koji će nam drugi reći – vidi kako si uspešna, vidi kako si srećna, vidi kako si dobra, blago tebi, a mi ne osećamo taj uspeh, tu sreću i tu dobrotu. Šta bi se dogodilo kada bismo živeli život od koga bi nam treperelo celo biće i osmeh ne bi silazio sa našeg lica, iako bi možda drugi govorili, ti si luda, to je nemoguće, u kom svetu ti živiš, to je glupo i slično?

Šta bi se dogodilo kada bismo dopustili sebi da budemo to što jesmo? Čudo prirode, radost života, svetlost koju ništa ne može pomračiti?

Da li bi svet i život kakve poznajemo danas uopšte postojali da nije bilo onih “ludih” autentičnih ljudi koji su živeli život po svojim aršinima, često usamljeni, često odbačeni, često nipodaštavani, proganjani, neshvaćeni? Koliko njih je, svesni večnosti, stavljalo svoj ovozemaljski život na vešala, giljotine, lomače, odbijajući da žive lažne živote, nemajući ništa drugo da ponude zajednici koja ih ne shvata i odbacuje do svoje autentičnosti!

A šta je to autentičnost? U jezičkom smislu, termin autentičan potekao je od grčke reči authentikos, što znači istinitost, pravovaljanost, verodostojnost. Ako znamo da na ovom svetu ne postoje dve apsolutno iste jedinke u biljnom i životinjskom svetu, pa i šire (npr. ne postoje dve identične pahulje snega!), kao i da je svaki čovek jedinstven po mnogim karakteristikama (dnk, otisak prsta, zenica oka…), zar je teško prihvatiti da su te “različitosti” važne?

Koja je moja istina koju sam došla da živim? Možda moje želje i moja vizija života samo meni ima smisla, možda još nisam otkrila kako da živim svoju autentičnost, možda će me neko proglasiti ludom što čeprkam po svom savršenom životu tragajući za nekom autentičnošću koja će me odvesti ko zna gde? A možda je sve to nebitno, možda je dovoljno da sam ja srećna i zadovoljna i odana autentičnoj sebi?

/

Be yourself! You are so important, unique, priceless! Why is it so hard for us to believe in this? I feel the magnitude of gifts that I have received with birth, with the origin itself. The spark of the creator is in all of us, but what do we do with it? We compare ourselves to others, we copy, we listen to others in order to be accepted, to be good for our parents, for our neighbors, friends, relatives, teacher, for our husband, colleague, our boss, for everyone except for ourselves!

I have this urge, for a while now, to write about authenticity, but I didn’t know where to start. I realized how important it is to be genuine, to communicate with myself, to hear myself, to express myself and to honor myself, because it is the only way to truly be fulfilled and happy. I knew how to recognize the authenticity in others and I admired how some people could just be who they are and do the things they love, without the lie, pretentiousness and need to prove anything to anyone. For when you live in line with who you are, you really don’t care what will other people think about what you have to say or whether someone likes or dislikes what you do. Because when our life and work support our authenticity, we are happy and satisfied, we fulfill our purpose simply by being ourselves, and that is our reward. The benefits from this is multiple, since our fulfillment with life, that we love and are thankful for, overflows on to other people and gives them a green light to open up to the possibility that true happiness is so simple, so ordinary that we too often disregard it, we discard it as too obvious.

Whose life do we live? What is really important in life?

Regardless of that me being conscious about how much authentic living and being in the harmony with your own self really matters, I have to admit that I haven’t yet succeeded in that. I often wonder who am I truly and what is it that I really desire? I have lived too long from inside my head, from the belief of my parents and the environment so that I am not sure where my authenticity lies. What is the benefit of living a life for which the others will say – look how successful you are, look how happy you are, look how good you are, good for you, while I don’t feel that success, that happiness and the goodness. What would happen if we would live life from which our entire being would vibrate and smile would never leave our face, although the others might say, you are crazy, it is impossible, in what world are you live in, it is stupid, and so on?

What would happen if we gave ourselves a permission to be who we are? The wonder of nature, the joy of life, the light that nothing can outshine?

Would the world and the life that we know today even exist if it wasn’t for those “crazy” authentic people who lived their lives by their own measure, often lonely, often rejected, frequently underappreciated, prosecuted, misunderstood? How many of them have put their worldly life onto the gallows, guillotines, bonfires, aware of eternity and declining to live fake lives, having nothing else to offer to the community, that don’t understand them and rejects them, except their authenticity!

Tijana

Ko ume da voli, ne bi trebalo ništa drugo da radi.

-Dušan Radović

One who knows how to love, should not be doing anything else.

– Dusan Radovic


No matter where we come from, there is one language we can all speak and understand from birth, the language of the heart, love.

― Imania Margria, Secrets of My Heart

Bez obzira odakle potičemo, postoji jedan jezik koji svi govorimo i razumemo od rođenja, to je jezik srca, ljubav.

– Imania Margria, Tajne moga srca


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Volim te mada ne znam kako, ili kada, ili odakle. Volim te jednostavno, bez problema ili ponosa: volim te na ovaj način jer ne poznajem ni jedan drugi način na koji bih mogao voleti, u njemu nema mene ili tebe, toliko je intiman da je tvoja ruka na mojim grudima moja ruka, toliko intiman da kada ja zaspim, tvoje se oči zatvore.

– Pablo Neruda, 100 Ljubavnih soneta


Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Ljubav je takvo stanje u kome je sreća druge osobe presudna za tvoju sopstvenu sreću.

– Robert A. Heinlein, Stranac u stranoj zemlji


When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Kada volimo, mi uvek težimo da postanemo bolji nego što jesmo. Kada se trudimo da postanemo bolji nego što jesmo, i sve oko nas postane bolje.

– Paulo Koeljo, Alhemičar


Valja se dobro osloniti o svoju hrabrost i ljubav, i plave slojeve nade. To vam je najprostiji način da pronađete sebe i domognete se mnogih nesvakidašnjih čuda.

— Miroslav Mika Antić

You should lean hard on your courage and love, and blue layers of hope. It is the simplest way for you to find yourself and reach the plenty of extraordinary wonders.

– Miroslav Mika Antic

Da li brojite svoje godine? / Do you count your years?

Prošlog meseca sam napunila 40 godina. Da li je 40 godina puno ili malo? Ko može na to tačno da odgovori? Ako pitate šestogodišnjaka, rećiće vam da je to previše godina, a ako pitate osamdesetogodišnjaka, on će samo odmahnuti rukom i reći da je to ništa. I stvarno, šta znači broj godina? Šta on određuje? U mnogim društvima kada čovek pređe četrdesetu, otvoreno ili prećutno, smatra se da je već star i da njegov život kreće nizvodnom putanjom. Mislim da je to zastareo i potpuno neopravdan stav, a da ne kažem koliko je štetan! Ja se ne osećam staro, ne izgledam staro, mnogi moji vršnjaci se tek žene i udaju, tek planiraju porodicu, neko tek započinje svoj biznis, iskreno i ja se osećam kao da moj život tek počinje. Sakupila sam svoje greške i uspehe i spremna sam da okrenem novi list.

Neka istraživanja o značenju broja 40 su fascinantna. Postavljaju se pitanja zašto se u pravoslavlju pomen duši daje posle 40 dana, zašto Božićni post traje tačno 40 dana, da li je slučajno Mojsije lutao pustinjom 40 dana, da li je slučajno veliki potop trajao baš 40 dana? Naša poznata književnica Mirjana Đapo, u knjizi „Elysion”[1] pišući o ovom fenomenu, između ostalog, kaže: Uzimajući 40 kao ispunjenje jedne životne faze, Talmud, a kasnije i katolička crkva, označili su ovaj broj kao ’kanonsko doba’ čoveka, što znači da je čovekov intelekt tada najrazvijeniji. Zaista, savremeni psiholozi često uočavaju određene promene u razvoju ličnosti kratko nakon nastanka 40-ih; pogled na biografije poznatih pruža dodatni dokaz za ovakva promišljanja.

Jedna mudrost kaže: neko se rodi star, a neko umre mlad u 101. godini. Za sve u životu postoji pravo vreme, ali se ono ne meri brojem godina. Da li su godine važne? Da, meni jesu, ali ne u onom uobičajenom smislu, sklonija sam da mislim, kao u gore citiranoj rečenici, da su četrdesete važna prekretnica u životu svakog čoveka kada je on spreman da u punoj snazi zasija. Možda je vreme da se neki mostovi spale, možda da se započne nešto potpuno novo, možda da se uvedu neke teške promene, donesu nove odluke, pokrenu neki davno sanjani snovi…

Mislim da je svaka dekada u životu bitna, da nam donosi neke nove izazove, nove uvide. Mi nismo isti sa 11, 25, 30 godina. Menjamo se, sazrevamo, učimo, odrastamo, menjaju se naše želje, naši prioriteti. Jedno je sigurno, čovek u četrdesetim sve teže može da živi po inerciji, ušuškan u laži koje ga žuljaju, žmureći na jedno oko da ne bi poremetio rutinu, ako ništa drugo, ovo je vreme kada i naše telo počne jače da se buni i „tera“ nas da se menjamo. Čini mi se od svega postaje najvažnije kako se zaista osećamo u svojoj koži, u svom životu, a ne kako sve to drugima izgleda.

Na kraju, nekako se vratimo ponovo na početak, prastara mudrost u jednoj rečenici Upoznaj samoga sebe, jer vezu koju gradimo sami sa sobom je temelj svake druge veze i odnosa! Ako uspemo da zaista osetimo svoje telo, poslušamo svoje misli, preispitamo svoje stavove, zavolimo sebe u celosti i prigrlimo glas svoje duše, ne postoji ništa što ne možemo da radimo i sa 55, 67 ili 89 godina. Šta vi mislite o tome? Da li samo brojite svoje godine ili ih živite?

[1] Mirjana Đapo: Elysion: roman. “Arte”, Beograd, 2010.

/

Last month I turned 40. Is 40 a lot or not? Who can give a correct answer to that? If you ask a six-year-old, they’ll tell you it is too many years, but if you ask an eighty-years-old, they’ll just shake off their hand and say it’s nothing. And really, what does the number of years mean? What does it determine? In many societies when someone turns 40 it is implied, explicitly or implicitly, that that person is old and that his life is now starting to decline. I think it is outdated and entirely unjustified attitude, not to mention how harmful it is! I do not feel old, I do not look old, many of my peers are just getting married, just starting planning a family, someone is just starting their business, and to be honest I too have a sense that my life is just beginning. I have gathered my mistakes and successes and I am now ready to turn the new page around.

Some researches about the meaning of the number 40 are fascinating. Questions like why in Orthodox Christianity the commemoration to the soul is given 40 days after the death, why the Christmas fasting last for exactly 40 days, is it accidentally that the Moses has wondered through desert for 40 days, did the great flood last for 40 days by chance? Our well-known writer Mirjana Djapo wrote about this phenomenon in her book “Elysion”[i], among other things, she said: Taking 40 as the fulfillment of one stage of life, the Talmud, later the Catholic Church, labeled this number as the ‘canonical age of man’, meaning that man’s intellect is then at its peak. Indeed, modern psychologists often view changes in personality development shortly after turning 40; a look at the biographies of celebrities provides further evidence for such reflections.

A wise man once said: Someone is born old, and someone dies young at 101. In life, there is a right time for everything, only that time is not measured with age. Does age matter? Yes, to me it does matter, but maybe not like in a common sense of it. Similar to the cited sentence above, I am prone to think that forties are an important milestone in every man’s life, when he is ready to shine in his full glory. Maybe now the time has come to burn some old bridges, maybe it’s time to start something entirely new, perhaps some hard changes need to be introduced, some new decisions reached, a long time dreamed dreams should be initiated…

I think that every decade in life is important and that it brings us new challenges, new insights. We are not the same with 11, 25, 30 years. We are changing, developing, maturing, learning, our desires change, our priorities as well. One thing is for sure, man in his 40 can’t no longer live by inertia, tucked into the lies that pock, closing one eye just so you don’t break a routine, if nothing else, this is a time when our bodies start to rebel more “pushing us” to change. Seems like it is becoming more about how I really feel in my own skin, in my life and not how it appears to others.

At the end, we somehow come to the beginning, an ancient wisdom in one sentence: Know thy self, because the relationship that we build with ourselves is the ground stone of every other relationship and commitment! If we can manage truly to feel our bodies, listen to our thoughts, to reconsider our views, love ourselves entirely and embrace the voice of our soul, there is nothing we can’t do even at 55, 67 or 89 years of age. What do you think about that? Do you just count your years or do you live them?

[i] Mirjana Djapo: Elysion: the novel. “Arte”, Belgrade, 2010.

 

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” ―Albert Einstein

“Mašta je mnogo važnija od znanja. Jer je znanje ograničeno onime što trenutno znamo i razumemo, dok mašta obuhvata ceo svet i sve što će ikada moći da se sazna i razume.” – Albert Anštajn

“You have the power to design a new life for yourself. Forget limiting yourself. Forget being reasonable. Forget being realistic. It is time to use your imagination and pretend that you get to have a better life now, because you do.” ―Daeryl Holzer

“Imate moć da dizajnirate novi život za sebe. Zaboravite na ograničavanje sebe. Zaboravite na razum. Zaboravite na realističnost. Vreme je da koristiti svoju maštu i pretvarajte se da možete imati bolji život sada, zato što možete.” – Deril Holzer

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.” ―George Bernard Shaw

“Mašta je početak kreacije. Zamisliš ono što želiš, zaželiš ono što si zamislio i na kraju stvoriš ono što si želeo.” – Džordž Bernard Šo

“If you fall in love with the imagination, you understand that it is a free spirit. It will go anywhere, and it can do anything.” ―Alice Walker

“Ako se zaljubiš u maštu, onda razumeš da je ona slobodnog duha. Otićiće bilo kuda i može da uradi bilo šta.” – Alisa Voker

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” ―Richard Bach

“Da bi privukao bilo šta u svoj život, zamisli da ga već imaš.” – Ričard Bah

Umetnost naša nasušna /Art Our Essential

Straight-away the ideas flow in upon me, directly from God, and not only do I see distinct themes in my mind’s eye, but they are clothed in the right forms, harmonies, and orchestration.
—Johannes Brahms

/

Ideje se neposredno ulivaju u mene, direktno od Boga, i ne samo da u očima svog uma vidim jasne teme, već su one obučene u prave forme, harmonije i orkestracije.

– Johanes Brams

Umetnost je razgovor duše i Boga. Ona nam prenosi važnu poruku o stvaranju i večnosti. Govori nam, ko ume da čuje, da svi nosimo isti izvor u sebi. Božanska priroda koja stvara, koja ne poznaje granice i nema rok trajanja. To sveto mesto koje nas ispuni kada stvaramo, prenosi se direktno sa duše na dušu. Zato mnogima promakne ta lepota, taj neprocenjivi trenutak čiste emocije koja nas povezuje sa celom Vasionom, sa svim umetnicima pre nas i sa svima onima koji će doći. Kroz umetnost možemo da doživimo, da osetimo beskonačnost.

Umetnost je potreba duše. Ljudi su stvarali umetnost i kada toga nisu bili ni svesni. Izražavanje kroz oblike i boje je dolazilo prirodno, spontano. Taj božanski deo nas je oduvek tražio da se izrazi.

Kao zrela žena počela sam da osećam nešto kao čežnju za kreativnim izrazom. Odjednom me je sve vuklo ka tome da želim da stvaram, tako je i nastao ovaj blog, odjednom me ponovo zanima umetnost u svim formama i oblicima.

Jednoga dana vidim objavu na fejsbuku da jedna slikarka drži časove slikanja, pozovem je i dogovorim sa njom čas za mene i moju ćerku, koja obožava kreativne stvari. Nisam ni znala da umem da nacrtam ceo portret. Od srednje škole se nisam igrala sa crtanjem i slikanjem, a crtala sam nekada puno. Potpuno sam zapustila taj deo sebe, a osećaj kada se “izgubiš” u nekom prostoru u sebi i samo prepustiš stvaranju, je jedna posebna vrsta meditacije i moja duša je presrećna što sam joj dopustila da se igra. A kada je duša srećna, ona onda i slika i igra i peva i ne prestaje da stvara.

/

Art is the need of the soul. People were making art when they were not even aware of it. Expression through shapes and colors came naturally, spontaneously. That divine part of our being was always looking to express itself.

As a mature woman, I began to feel something like craving for creative expression. Suddenly everything was pulling me into wanting to create, that’s how this blog came about, all of a sudden I’m rediscovering my interest for art in all forms and shapes.

One day I see a post on Facebook that an artist holds painting classes, I call her and arrange with her an hour class for me and my daughter, who loves creative things. I didn’t even knew that I know how to draw the whole portrait. I have not played with drawing and painting since high school, and I used to draw a lot. I completely abandoned that part of myself, but the feeling of “losing” yourself in some space within and just letting go of creation is one particular kind of meditation and my soul is overjoyed that I let it out to play. And when the soul is happy, then it also paints and plays and sings and does not stop creating.

Ljubav Moja Mila / My Dear* Love

Čulo se jasno i snažno. Sa svakim otkucajem tvoga srca, moje je kucalo još jače. Da li sam te oduvek volela? Jedno znam sigurno, zaljubila sam se u tebe dok si još bila želja.

Tvoj prvi stisak ruke, prvi pogled koji govori milion reči i u kome se ogleda čitav Univerzum i sve zvezde nebeske sijaju punim sjajem kao da kažu – ja sam nešto posebno, jedinstveno, moja ljubav će promeniti sve. O da, promenila je, ni ne slutiš koliko! Mene najviše…

Ljubav sve menja. Ljubav je naš put do večnosti.

Obećavam ti, neću te nikada posedovati. Naša će ljubav biti slobodna, osvajati vrhove, ali znaj da ćeš u mome srcu uvek imati dom.

Molim te samo, sačuvaj u sebi komadić moje večnosti i taj osmeh beskrajni.

/

You could hear it clearly and strong. With every beat of your heart, mine was beating even harder. Did I love you since forever? I know one thing for sure, I fell in love with you when you were only a wish.

The first grip of your hand, the first look that speaks a million words and in which the entire Universe mirrors itself, and all the stars in the sky shine in their full splendor saying – I am something special, unique, my love will change everything. Oh yeah, it did change, you can’t even imagine how much! Mostly me…

Love changes everything. Love is our road to eternity.

I promise you I will never own you. Our love will be free, conquer the peaks, but know that within my heart you will always have a home.

Please, I beg you though, keep the bit of my eternity inside you and that infinite smile.

*Word Dear translated in Serbian Mila is used both as an adjective and as a girl name

Ljubav/Love

Ima dana kada se probudim uzemljena, puna snage, svesna života u meni i oko mene. Tada vidim stvari izoštrenije, kao da se materija razliva i dopušta suštini da se izrazi. Postanem svesnija malih stvari koje čine život, koje znače mnogo više nego što smo spremni da prihvatimo, zbog kojih sam sva u zahvalnosti ovoga jutra, u miru i veri, skoro kao da sam i sama oslobođena svega što je suvišno, bestelesna, lagana duša koja peva u ritmu sunčevih zraka.

Možda je ova kiša isprala u meni brigu, ljutnju, strah… ostavivši me čudu života svežu i obnovljenu, da mu se divim, da ga slavim, da ga istražujem, kao novorođenče koje prvi put otkriva svet, koje prvi put ponovo otkriva ljubav.

/

There are days when I wake up grounded, full of strength, totally aware of all the life inside of me and around me. In those times I see things clearer, as if the matter has disperse before me allowing for the essence to reveal the self. I become mindful of the little things that make the living, that mean much more than we are ready to acknowledge, for which I am full of gratitude this morning, in peace and faith, almost as if I am released from all that is redundant, just this incorporeal, airy soul that’s singing in the rhythm of the sunbeams.

Could be this rain has washed away all worry, anger, fear in me… leaving me to the miracle of life fresh and renewed, to admire it, to celebrate it, to explore it, like a newborn revealing the world for the first time, for the first time revealing the love again.

Čiji smo/Who do we belong to

Držim na rukama to milo telašce, taj život što zavisi od mene, ali mi ne pripada. Prisećam se sve češće svog odnosa sa roditeljima i koliko sam im se malo poveravala, kako sam, čini mi se, u mnogim stvarima bila sama i boli me sama pomisao da neću deliti život mojih ćerki u svakom njihovom udahu i koraku… I znam da su moje samo u ljubavi koju delimo, a njihovi životi su samo njihovi, pozajmljeni od večnosti.

/

I hold in my arms that sweet little body, that life that depends on me, but does not belong to me. I recollect more often the relationship I had with my parents and how little did I confide to them, it seams to me that I was alone in so many instances and just the thought that I will not share the life of my daughters in every breath they take and every step of their way hurts me… And I know that they are mine only in love that we share, and their lives are just theirs, derived from eternity.

Ti možeš sve / You can do anything

“Prebaci srce preko trapeza, a tvoje telo će krenuti za njim.“ / “Throw your heart over the trapeze and your body will follow.”

– Iz knjige Bernija S. Zigela „Mir, ljubav i lečenje“ / From the book “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Bernie S. Siegel

Ti možeš sve! Baš sve što poželiš, možeš i da ostvariš. Savršeno si biće, što ga beskonačni um stvori, u tebi su isprepleteni vekovi ljudske muke i mudrosti. Ti si čitav jedan svet.

Mada mi kažu da sam tvrdoglava kao da je to nešto loše, ja se nadam da se nikada neću promeniti. Koliko sam se samo nervirala kada mi tata kaže da sam tvrdoglava kao magarac! Međutim, došao je trenutak u mom životu kada sam svim srcem zahvaljivala Bogu na tom daru tvrdoglavosti, tj. upornosti. Ta tvrdoglavost mi je možda spasila život. Ona me je više puta terala da ostanem svoja po svaku cenu, da se ne povedem za društvom, da budem dosledna u svojim principima, da sačuvam sebe, ono najbolje što mi je dato u životu. Jer najvrednije što imam, dobila sam već rodjenjem, vrisnuli su svi moji preci i svaki je hteo da baš njegov gen nastavi večitu bitku sa životom, i ako je baš taj uporni gen tvrdoglavosti uspeo da se probije i obeleži moj život, neka to ne bude uzalud! Na kraju, samo uporni stižu do cilja.

I zato volim, mada to nije lako za roditelja, kada vidim trag te tvrdoglavosti u mom detetu i nadam se da će i nju ta osobina spasavati od mnogih iskušenja života i odvesti do svih ciljeva koje sebi postavi.

/

You can do anything! Just anything you wish, you can achieve. You are a perfect being, created by the unlimited mined, centuries of human torment and wisdom all wrap around inside of you. You are one whole world.

Although people say to me that I am stubborn like it is a bad thing, I hope I will stay this way forever. I remember being so frustrated when my dad used to tell me that I am stubborn as a mule! However, there came a period of my life when I was thankful for that gift of stubbornness, i.e. persistence. That stubbornness maybe saved my life. More than once, it made me stay true to myself no matter what, it made me not to go with the crowd, to be persistent with my own beliefs, to preserve myself, the very best thing I was given to in life. Because the most valuable thing I own was already given to me with birth, all my ancestors roared and each one of them wanted for their very gene to continue eternal battle with life, and if that persistent gene of stubbornness managed to break through and mark my life, let it not be in vain! In the end, only the persistent reach the finish line.

This is why I love the glimpse of that stubbornness in my daughter, although it doesn’t come easy on a parent, and I hope this attribute will save her as well from all kinds of temptations in life and lead her to the fulfillment of all the goals she sets up for herself.

Tijana

I kada nije potrebna, majka je uvek poželjna…/ Even when not needed, a mother is always welcomed…

Kada prvi put zakoračiš u novi život, probijajući se prvim bojažljivim udahom u naručje majke, objavljujući na sva zvona, snažnim plačem – ja sam tu, pokaži mi, nauči me, vodi me, voli me!

To je trenutak u kome se rodi nešto što je teško opisati, teško je i shvatiti, ali je lako prihvatiti. Vanvremenska, neraskidiva veza dve duše, dva života; rađa se čovek, nastaje majka i ceo svet se menja.

Majka sam sada već dve devojčice. Prvi put kada sam tu misao konstatovala, nasmejala sam se u sebi poput neke šiparice, hihihi, ja majka, majka dvoje dece, to zvuči tako ozbiljno! Pogledam se u ogledalo i vidim sebe, ali to više nisam samo ja, sada sam i žena i majka i rastem ispunjena tom mišlju kao što rastu i ove grudi majčinske, svakim danom sve više.

Kada sam prvi put postala majka plakale smo i beba i ja, ja često i više nego ona, a sada, kao iskusna majka, plačem više u sebi, pa se brzo trgnem i prisetim da nemam kad da plačem, da je to samo trenutak nerazumevanja koje će proći.

I tako mnoge stvari ostaju za kasnije, ostavljajući više mesta za ljubav, nežnost, razumevanje i igru.

Hvala ti Bože na majkama (hvala i tebi mama što si baš moja mama), a hvala ti i na deci (ne znam šta bih bez njih, ustvari znam, ali sa njima život dobija još jednu dimenziju sa kojom ništa ne može da se poredi).

/

When you make that very first step into a new life, breaking through into the mother’s embrace with your first trembling breath, proclaiming to the world with that powerful cry of yours – here I am, show me, teach me, lead me, love me!

In that moment, something hard to explain, hard even to conceive, yet easy to accept, is born. A timeless, unbreakable bond of two souls, two lives; a human being is born, one becomes mother and the whole world changes.

Now I am already a mother of two little girls. The first time I had acknowledged that thought, I laughed to myself like a silly girl, me a mother, hihihi, a mother of two sounds so serious! I look at the mirror and I see me, only that’s not just me now, now I am a women as well as a mother and I rise filled with that thought like these motherly breasts of mine, more and more with each day.

When I had my firs baby, we both cried, me often more than her, and now as an experienced mother I cry on the inside, then quickly pull myself together and remember that I have no time to cry, that it is just a moment of misunderstanding that shall pass.

And so there it is, a lot of stuff is left for later, leaving more space for love, tenderness, understanding and fun.

Thank you God for mothers (thank you mom for being my mom), and thank you for the kids too (I don’t know what I would do without them, well, actually I do know, but with them a life gets a new dimension that’s beyond compare with everything else).