Život za život – sve za dete / Life for life – everything for a child

Prvih 5 godina pokušavamo da ih skinemo sa sebe, onda sledećih pet godina pokušavamo ponovo da ih prikačimo za sebe, pa narednih pet godina oni pokušavaju da nas otkače od sebe, pa se onda mi trudimo da se ponovo prikačimo za njih i tako u nedogled… Odnos roditelja i dece i odnos dece i roditelja, ostaje večita misterija života.😊

Gledala sam danas animirani film o Herkulu, čuvenom heroju iz Grčke mitologije. U jednom trenutku otac, vrhovni Bog Zevs, kaže svom sinu da mora postati heroj kako bi ponovo postao Bog, a za to je potrebno da učini istinski herojsko delo. I tako se Herkul odlučio da vežba i trenira svakodnevno, kako bi postao pravi heroj. Međutim, iako je postao heroj i stekao slavu u narodu, to nije bilo dovoljno. I na kraju, ključni herojski čin koji ga je vratio među Bogove je bilo davanje svog života u zamenu za život žene koju voli.

To me je navelo na razmišljanje o simbolici te ideje, koja se javlja u mnogim pričama, život za život, žrtvovanje iz ljubavi… Podsetilo me je na roditeljstvo. Na neki način mi dajemo naš život kakav poznajemo do trenutka dok ne postanemo roditelji, za novi život. Neki roditelji i bukvalno žrtvuju sebe ne bi li njihova deca živela bolje, lepše, više od njih… Ne shvatamo svi žrtvu na isti način, ali odricanje od mnogo stvari je sastavni deo roditeljstva.

Ne mislim da deca treba da dobiju sve što požele i ne postoji univerzalni pristup vaspitanju koji možete da reprodukujete na dete i samo ubirete plodove. Pa sa koliko se izazova svako od nas susreo u svom životu, svi smo različiti i živimo svoj život najbolje što umemo, često posustajemo, pa se ponovo podižemo i idemo dalje. Učimo, menjamo se, nekada se godinama vrtimo u krug ili tapkamo u mestu, a onda pored svega toga dobijemo odgovornost za još jedan, dva, tri… života. Kako neko ko nije sam naučio da bude srećan, da voli, da živo ispunjenim životom, da sa lakoćom prevazilazi izazove koji su svakodnevni, a nekada i vrlo kompleksni, kako neko ko nema samopouzdanja može da nauči dete da bude srećno i živi svoj život punog potencijala sa lakoćom i radošću?

Ipak, kao što smo mi svi unikatni na svoj način, tako je i svako dete svoje. Neku decu treba vaspitavati, a neku samo negovati. Ne moramo biti savršeni, ali moramo biti svoji i iskreni. Deca znaju mnogo više nego što mislimo, jer su njihove misli čiste i osećanja duboka. Nekada pomislim da ne treba da ih učimo da se prilagođavaju ovom svetu, već da grade svoj.

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You become a parent and realize that you have permanently exchanged one life for another, and that, whether you like it or not, you have a huge responsibility and influence on a life that is not yours, and that it is up to you to teach someone about life, no matter how much you have mastered it yourself.

For the first 5 years we try to take them off ourselves, then for the next five years we try to attach them to ourselves again, then for the next five years they try to detach us from themselves, and then we try to attach to them again and so on indefinitely… The relationship between parents and children and the relationship between children and parents remains an eternal mystery of life.

Today I watched an animated film about Hercules, a famous hero from Greek mythology. At one point, the father, the supreme God Zeus, tells his son that he must become a real hero in order to become God again, and for that he needs to do a truly heroic deed. And so Hercules decided to practice and train every day, in order to become a real hero. However, although he became a hero and gained fame among the people, that was not enough. And finally, the key heroic act that brought him back among the Gods was giving his life in exchange for the life of the woman he loves.

That made me think about the symbolism of that idea, which appears in many stories, life for life, sacrifice out of love … It reminded me of parenthood. In a way we give our life as we know it until the moment we become parents, for a new life. Some parents literally sacrifice themselves in order for their children to live better, more beautiful, more than them … We do not all understand sacrifice in the same way, but giving up many things is an integral part of parenthood.

I don’t think that children should get everything they want and there is no universal approach to upbringing that you can reproduce to a child and just reap the rewards. Well, how many challenges did each of us face in our lives, we are all different and we live our lives the best we can, we often fall, so we get up again and move on. We learn, we change, sometimes for years go around in a circle or tap in one place, and then, in addition to all that, we get responsibility for another one, two, three… lives. How someone who has not learned to be happy, to love, to live a full life, to easily overcome challenges that occur daily, and are sometimes very complex, how someone who does not have self-confidence can teach a child to be happy and live his life in a full potential with ease and joy?

However, just as we are all unique in our own way, so is every child. Some children need to be brought up, and some just need to be nurtured. We don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to be our own and honest. Children know much more than we think, because their thoughts are pure and their feelings are deep. Sometimes I think that we should not teach them to adapt to this world, but to build their own.

Tijana Stupljanin

Ljubav Moja Mila / My Dear* Love

Čulo se jasno i snažno. Sa svakim otkucajem tvoga srca, moje je kucalo još jače. Da li sam te oduvek volela? Jedno znam sigurno, zaljubila sam se u tebe dok si još bila želja.

Tvoj prvi stisak ruke, prvi pogled koji govori milion reči i u kome se ogleda čitav Univerzum i sve zvezde nebeske sijaju punim sjajem kao da kažu – ja sam nešto posebno, jedinstveno, moja ljubav će promeniti sve. O da, promenila je, ni ne slutiš koliko! Mene najviše…

Ljubav sve menja. Ljubav je naš put do večnosti.

Obećavam ti, neću te nikada posedovati. Naša će ljubav biti slobodna, osvajati vrhove, ali znaj da ćeš u mome srcu uvek imati dom.

Molim te samo, sačuvaj u sebi komadić moje večnosti i taj osmeh beskrajni.

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You could hear it clearly and strong. With every beat of your heart, mine was beating even harder. Did I love you since forever? I know one thing for sure, I fell in love with you when you were only a wish.

The first grip of your hand, the first look that speaks a million words and in which the entire Universe mirrors itself, and all the stars in the sky shine in their full splendor saying – I am something special, unique, my love will change everything. Oh yeah, it did change, you can’t even imagine how much! Mostly me…

Love changes everything. Love is our road to eternity.

I promise you I will never own you. Our love will be free, conquer the peaks, but know that within my heart you will always have a home.

Please, I beg you though, keep the bit of my eternity inside you and that infinite smile.

*Word Dear translated in Serbian Mila is used both as an adjective and as a girl name

I kada nije potrebna, majka je uvek poželjna…/ Even when not needed, a mother is always welcomed…

Kada prvi put zakoračiš u novi život, probijajući se prvim bojažljivim udahom u naručje majke, objavljujući na sva zvona, snažnim plačem – ja sam tu, pokaži mi, nauči me, vodi me, voli me!

To je trenutak u kome se rodi nešto što je teško opisati, teško je i shvatiti, ali je lako prihvatiti. Vanvremenska, neraskidiva veza dve duše, dva života; rađa se čovek, nastaje majka i ceo svet se menja.

Majka sam sada već dve devojčice. Prvi put kada sam tu misao konstatovala, nasmejala sam se u sebi poput neke šiparice, hihihi, ja majka, majka dvoje dece, to zvuči tako ozbiljno! Pogledam se u ogledalo i vidim sebe, ali to više nisam samo ja, sada sam i žena i majka i rastem ispunjena tom mišlju kao što rastu i ove grudi majčinske, svakim danom sve više.

Kada sam prvi put postala majka plakale smo i beba i ja, ja često i više nego ona, a sada, kao iskusna majka, plačem više u sebi, pa se brzo trgnem i prisetim da nemam kad da plačem, da je to samo trenutak nerazumevanja koje će proći.

I tako mnoge stvari ostaju za kasnije, ostavljajući više mesta za ljubav, nežnost, razumevanje i igru.

Hvala ti Bože na majkama (hvala i tebi mama što si baš moja mama), a hvala ti i na deci (ne znam šta bih bez njih, ustvari znam, ali sa njima život dobija još jednu dimenziju sa kojom ništa ne može da se poredi).

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When you make that very first step into a new life, breaking through into the mother’s embrace with your first trembling breath, proclaiming to the world with that powerful cry of yours – here I am, show me, teach me, lead me, love me!

In that moment, something hard to explain, hard even to conceive, yet easy to accept, is born. A timeless, unbreakable bond of two souls, two lives; a human being is born, one becomes mother and the whole world changes.

Now I am already a mother of two little girls. The first time I had acknowledged that thought, I laughed to myself like a silly girl, me a mother, hihihi, a mother of two sounds so serious! I look at the mirror and I see me, only that’s not just me now, now I am a women as well as a mother and I rise filled with that thought like these motherly breasts of mine, more and more with each day.

When I had my firs baby, we both cried, me often more than her, and now as an experienced mother I cry on the inside, then quickly pull myself together and remember that I have no time to cry, that it is just a moment of misunderstanding that shall pass.

And so there it is, a lot of stuff is left for later, leaving more space for love, tenderness, understanding and fun.

Thank you God for mothers (thank you mom for being my mom), and thank you for the kids too (I don’t know what I would do without them, well, actually I do know, but with them a life gets a new dimension that’s beyond compare with everything else).