I kada nije potrebna, majka je uvek poželjna…/ Even when not needed, a mother is always welcomed…

Kada prvi put zakoračiš u novi život, probijajući se prvim bojažljivim udahom u naručje majke, objavljujući na sva zvona, snažnim plačem – ja sam tu, pokaži mi, nauči me, vodi me, voli me!

To je trenutak u kome se rodi nešto što je teško opisati, teško je i shvatiti, ali je lako prihvatiti. Vanvremenska, neraskidiva veza dve duše, dva života; rađa se čovek, nastaje majka i ceo svet se menja.

Majka sam sada već dve devojčice. Prvi put kada sam tu misao konstatovala, nasmejala sam se u sebi poput neke šiparice, hihihi, ja majka, majka dvoje dece, to zvuči tako ozbiljno! Pogledam se u ogledalo i vidim sebe, ali to više nisam samo ja, sada sam i žena i majka i rastem ispunjena tom mišlju kao što rastu i ove grudi majčinske, svakim danom sve više.

Kada sam prvi put postala majka plakale smo i beba i ja, ja često i više nego ona, a sada, kao iskusna majka, plačem više u sebi, pa se brzo trgnem i prisetim da nemam kad da plačem, da je to samo trenutak nerazumevanja koje će proći.

I tako mnoge stvari ostaju za kasnije, ostavljajući više mesta za ljubav, nežnost, razumevanje i igru.

Hvala ti Bože na majkama (hvala i tebi mama što si baš moja mama), a hvala ti i na deci (ne znam šta bih bez njih, ustvari znam, ali sa njima život dobija još jednu dimenziju sa kojom ništa ne može da se poredi).

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When you make that very first step into a new life, breaking through into the mother’s embrace with your first trembling breath, proclaiming to the world with that powerful cry of yours – here I am, show me, teach me, lead me, love me!

In that moment, something hard to explain, hard even to conceive, yet easy to accept, is born. A timeless, unbreakable bond of two souls, two lives; a human being is born, one becomes mother and the whole world changes.

Now I am already a mother of two little girls. The first time I had acknowledged that thought, I laughed to myself like a silly girl, me a mother, hihihi, a mother of two sounds so serious! I look at the mirror and I see me, only that’s not just me now, now I am a women as well as a mother and I rise filled with that thought like these motherly breasts of mine, more and more with each day.

When I had my firs baby, we both cried, me often more than her, and now as an experienced mother I cry on the inside, then quickly pull myself together and remember that I have no time to cry, that it is just a moment of misunderstanding that shall pass.

And so there it is, a lot of stuff is left for later, leaving more space for love, tenderness, understanding and fun.

Thank you God for mothers (thank you mom for being my mom), and thank you for the kids too (I don’t know what I would do without them, well, actually I do know, but with them a life gets a new dimension that’s beyond compare with everything else).

 

Jedan trenutak u životu / One moment in life

Duboko spoznajte da je sadašnji trenutak sve što ikada imate. – Ekart Tol

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.  – Eckhart Tolle

U trenutku kada sam postala zaista svesna da ću za par meseci postati majka, prva misao me je odvela u moje detinjstvo, u naručje majke. To je bio trenutak kada se sva snaga, sva veličina, sva ljubav svih majki pre mene pretočila u jedan savršeni momenat u kome sam prvi put razumela značenje te tako često i olako izgovarane reči, koje se ne može objasniti, mora se doživeti.

Miriše mamina kuhinja, kao nikada do sada. Miriše nostalgija. Najbolji je sadašnji trenutak, znam to i osećam, ipak zaplovim ponekad po nekim prošlim vremenima… Odrastemo ostajući deca celoga života, strepimo od pogrda i prekih pogleda, žudimo za rečima odobravanja, razumevanja, za ljubavlju besprekornom, punom prihvatanja. Mirišu dunje mog detinjstva. Tople ruke što su me kroz život vodile. Napijem se vode sa tog izvora sećanja i krenem putem slobode… Dolazi vreme promena, vreme da stope mojih koraka ispune meke, bose, dečije nožice…

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At the moment when I got to be really aware that I would become a mother in a couple of months, the first thought I had has taken me to my childhood, to my mother’s arms. It was a moment when all the strength, all the greatness, all the love of all the mothers before me was transformed into one perfect moment in which I for the first time understood the meaning of that so often and lightly spoken word, that cannot be explained, it must be experienced.

Like never before it smells like mom’s kitchen. It smells like nostalgia. The present moment is the best, I know and feel it, yet I sail sometimes through some past times… We grow up remaining children all our lives, we dread ragging and harsh looks, we long for words of approval, understanding, for impeccable love, full of acceptance. It smells like the quinces of my childhood. The warm hands that guided me through life. I drank water from that source of memory and I set out on the path of freedom… The time of change is coming, the time for the footsteps of my steps to be filled with soft, bare, children’s feet…

Tijana Stupljanin