Tag: soul

Verujući / Believing

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“Bog je u tebi i svuda oko tebe. Ne u oblicima od drveta ili kamena. Zagrebi bilo koje drvo i on je tu, pomeri bilo koji kamen i njega ćeš naći.” Veruje se da su ovo istinite reči istorijskog Isusa.

Život je čin vere, zato ga i ne možemo objasniti, uvek će nas iznenaditi nečim novim i nedokučivim. Baš kao što smo i mi sami deo njega, nedokučivi i neistraženi do kraja. Dokle god ne odgonetnemo sebe nećemo znati odgovor na vekovna pitanja: šta je život? Odakle dolazim? Kuda idem? Istina je dostupna onima koji veruju. Samo tako ovaj svet ima neki smisao.

Tata mi je često govorio: „Ne beri cveće po Jupiteru“. Šta ja tu mogu, volim taj miris zemlje neke daleke, koja postoji samo u mom srcu. Ne mogu ni da zamislim kakav bi mi život bio da nisam otkrila te daljine. Ja nisam od ovoga sveta i ne mogu da ga shvatim. Zato žudim za mirisom toploga leta i nestvarom moga sveta.

Verujem da je važniji taj unutrašnji svet koji otkrivamo i oblikujemo ceo život od svega što nas okružuje. Verujem da je ključ života u nama, dok nam proživljena iskustva služe kao putokazi, tzv. znakovi pored puta, koje ako umemo da prepoznamo mogu da nam budu odlični vodiči na putu u središte srca, odn. duše. A duša sve zna, samo je treba umeti čuti i verovati u njenu veličinu i snagu.

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“God is in you and all around you. Not in the forms of wood or stone. Scrape any tree and he is there, move any stone and you will find him.” These are believed to be the true words of the historical Jesus.

Life is an act of faith, that’s why we can’t explain it, it will always surprise us with something new and incomprehensible. Just as we are a part of it, incomprehensible and unexplored to the end. Until we figure out ourselves, we will not know the answer to the age-old questions: what is life? Where do I come from? Where am I going? The truth is available to those who believe. This is the only way this world makes sense.

Dad often told me: “Don’t pick flowers on Jupiter.” I can’t help it, I love that smell of a distant land, which exists only in my heart. I can’t even imagine what my life would be like if I didn’t discover those distances. I am not of this world and I cannot understand it. That is why I long for the smell of a hot summer and the unreality of my world.

I believe that the inner world that we discover and shape our whole life is more important than everything that surrounds us. I believe that the key to life is within us, while the lived experiences serve us as signposts, the so-called signs alongside the road, which if we can acknowledge them can be a great guides on the way to the center of the heart, of our soul. And the soul knows everything, you just need to be able to hear it and believe in its greatness and strength.

Tijana Stupljanin

Život teče sam od sebe / Life flows on its own

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Gledam svog malog andjela kako slatko spava, napućila je ustašca, ručice podigla visoko iznad glave, nešto sanja…

Razmišljam danima o svim strahovima, nadama, željama i opet strahovima, o sebi, o prošlosti i budućnosti, o životu. I kao i uvek u takvim trenucima, nemirnog sam uma, misli igraju svoju igru sumnje i zabluda, srce se plaši. Sve procenjujem, sve vagam. Više u telu nego u duši živim taj raspolućeni život i čekam da oluja prođe, da se misli stišaju, razbistre, da mogu neku pouku da izvučem, neku novu lekciju otpišem…

Sve počinje iznutra, iz jezgra, iz suštine i kad sazri pronadje svoj put napolje, izbije na površinu…

To mi daje i snagu i nadu da istrajem, da zaronim u sebe i počupam sav korov koji me pritiska i vuče ka dnu, jer znam da ću okupana svetlošću svoje duše izroniti jača, čistija i bolja.

A život teče, po nekom svom naumu i redu, i istrpi, na kraju, sve prepreke, sva skretanja koja mu nudim, iz straha da ne zalutam, iz buke uma koju ne mogu uvek da ugušim, tek po nekoj slutnji utišanog srca, čujem njegov šum koji me doziva da mu se prepustim. Vraćam mu se, na sreću, uvek, jer život je veći od nas samih i dešava se bili mi spremni ili ne.

Ranije sam mislila da je život težak, tako sam slušala valjda od starijih, i mislila sam da mu se treba suprotstavljati, boriti se za ono što želim po svaku cenu… Neke cene su ipak bile preskupe, a želje pogrešno protumačene. Istina je u staroj poslovici “sila Boga ne moli”, jer suprotstavljajući se tom toku, sputavamo i svoje želje i udaljavamo se od Boga i njegove zamisli. Dugo mi je trebalo da shvatim i prihvatim, istinu koju sam oduvek slutila iskonskom pameću, da je Bog ustvari dobar i da nam je namenio mnogo više i bolje nego što možemo da zamislimo ograničenim umom, zastrašenim srcem, ovim vremenom i prostorom.

A naša duša, naš suštinski život, beskonačan je i neuhvatljiv. O njemu su svi naši snovi, sve nade. On je od čiste mašte sazdan. Potrebno je samo voleti i verovati…

Zato večeras grlim svoju dušu, ljubim svoj život i zahvaljujem Bogu na svemu… i molim se da me ne napusti, ni sad, ni ikad, jer jedina stalna borba koju vredi voditi u ovom životu jeste borba za stišavanje uma i jačanje vere u sam život.

Celivam te poljupcima svoga srca!

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I am watching my little angel sleep sweetly, she has puffed her tiny mouth, raised her arms high above her head, she is dreaming something…

I am thinking for days now about all the fears, hopes, desires and again fears, about myself, about the past and the future, about life. And as always in such moments, my mind is restless, thoughts play their game of doubt and delusion, the heart is afraid. I evaluate everything, I weigh everything. I live that half-through life more in my body than in my soul and I am waiting for the storm to pass, for my thoughts to calm down, for me to clear up, for me to learn a lesson, to write off another lesson…

It all starts from the inside, from the core, from the essence and when it matures it finds its way out, it comes to the surface…

It gives me both strength and hope to persevere, to dive into myself and pull out all the weeds that presses me and drags me to the bottom, because I know that bathed in the light of my soul, I will emerge stronger, purer and better.

And life flows, fallowing his own plan and order, and endures, in the end, all obstacles, all the turning points I offer him, fearing of getting lost, out of the noise of the mind that I can’t always suffocate. Only by some intuition of a quiet heart, I hear his noise calling me to surrender to him. Fortunately, I always come back to him, because life is bigger than ourselves and it happens whether we are ready or not.

Some costs, however, were too high, and the wishes were misinterpreted. The truth is in the old proverb “the power does not pray the God “, because by opposing that flow, we also restrain our desires and distance ourselves from the God and his idea. It took me a long time to understand and accept, the truth that I have always sensed in the primordial mind, that the God is actually good and has intended for us far more and much better things than we can imagine with our limited mind, a frightened heart, with this time and space.

And our soul, our essential life, is infinite and elusive. All our dreams, all our hopes are about it. It is made out of pure imagination. You just have to love and believe…

So tonight, I am hugging my soul, I am loving my life and I thank the God for everything… and I pray that he does not leave me, not now or ever, because the only constant struggle worth fighting in this life is the struggle to calm the mind and strengthen the faith in life itself.

I am kissing you with the kisses of my heart!

Tijana Stupljanin

Upoznaj samoga sebe / Get to know yourself

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Koliko je mala jedna kap vode iz okeana, a opet sadrži u sebi ceo okean. Šta je kap mog postojanja u odnosu na okean života? Kako to lepo kaže Cesarić:

…

Taj san u slapu da bi mogo sjati,
I moja kaplja pomaže ga tkati.

Ja verujem u sebe. Verujem u prirodu i u Boga, kao bezgraničnu, savršenu, vanvremensku energiju, koja ima svoj cilj i svoje principe. Ona na jednom višem nivou uređuje ovaj svet i pravi ravnotežu. Verujem u kosmičku pravdu i njene zakone koji su isti za sve. Posmatrano iz te perspektive svi smo mi samo broj na mapi bezbrojnih života, ali verujući u sebe i gradeći svoj život svom svojom energijom i voljom, činimo da se i naš broj računa.

Ko sam ja? Koliko puta sam sebi postavila ovo pitanje. Da li sam ja ono što mislim da jesam? Nisam sigurna, jer u svojim mislima sam mnogo više, i hrabra i pametna i pravedna i velikodušna i samouverena i sposobna i spretna i još mnogo toga što su me učili da treba da budem i o čemu sam čitala da su vrline koje uvek vrede, koje su na ceni  i za koje se nekada plaćalo čak i životom. Istina je da su to sve ideali kojima težim i za koje sam sigurna da su izraz duhovnosti i čovečnosti koje su vredne življenja, ali je isto tako istina da tek pred velikim izazovom, u izvanrednim situacijama koje u deliću sekunde mogu zauvek promeniti naš život, naš svet, zaista spoznajemo svoju suštinu i za šta smo sve sposobni. Ako u takvim trenucima uspemo da prepoznamo delić večnosti i iskonske Božanske ljubavi u nama, na dobrom smo putu spoznaje i možda jednoga dana naši ideali postanu deo nas.

Kada izgubiš srce u bezgraničnoj ljubavi, dobijaš beskonačnu radost svog bića. Kada izgubiš iluziju onoga sto misliš da ti treba, dobiješ baš ono što želiš. Kada izgubiš ideju o tome ko misliš da jesi i šta treba da budeš, dobijaš sebe na dar.

Ja sam jedan nesavršeni deo celine, a celina je moj savršeni deo…

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How small is one drop of water from the ocean, and yet it contains the whole ocean. What is the drop of my existence in relation to the ocean of life? As Cesarić[i] nicely says:

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That dream in the waterfall to be able to shine,

My little drop too helps weave it.

I believe in myself. I believe in nature and in God, as a boundless, perfect, timeless energy, which has its goal and its principles. It regulates this world on a higher level and creates balance. I believe in cosmic justice and its laws that are the same for everyone. Viewed from that perspective, we are all just a number on the map of countless lives, but by believing in ourselves and building our lives with all our energy and will, we seem to count our number as well.

Who I am? How many times have I asked myself this question. Am I what I think I am? I’m not sure, because in my mind I’m much more, brave and smart and just and generous and confident and capable and skilful and much more of what they taught me that I should be and what I read are the virtues that always have worth, for which the price was once paid even with life itself. It is true that these are all ideals that I strive for and that I am sure are an expression of spirituality and humanity that are worth living for, but it is also true that only before a great challenge, in extraordinary situations that can change our lives, our world, forever, we really realize our essence and what we are capable of. If in such moments we manage to recognize a part of eternity and primordial Divine love in us, we are on a good path of knowing and maybe one day our ideals will become a part of us.

When you lose your heart in boundless love, you gain the infinite joy of your being. When you lose the illusion of what you think you need, you get exactly what you want. When you lose the idea of who you think you are and what you should be, you get yourself as a gift.

I am an imperfect part of the whole, and the whole is my perfect part …

[i] Dobriša Cesarić (10 January 1902 – 18 December 1980) was a Croatian poet and translator born in Požega.

Teorija o životu uopšte / A theory of life in general

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Šta je život? Rođenje, radost, tuga, odrastanje, bol, ljubav, sreća, patnja, radost, padanje i ustajanje, smrt i šta posle? Večita pitanja: da li život ima smisla, i ako ima koji je to smisao?

Život to sam ja. Bez mene život i ne postoji. Moj život je moj smisao. Ja postojim u ovom životu, na ovoj planeti sa svrhom da živim svoj život najbolje što mogu, na način koji izaberem, a ja sam odabrala ljubav. Uh, pa svi biraju ljubav, reći ćete. Da, svi žele ljubav, ali neki ljudi samo čekaju da im ljubav dođe i nakupe puno negativnih osećanja u tom čekanju, a kada im čekanje dosadi, pristaju na sve. Dok neki, poput mene, krenu na daaalek put u potrazi za ljubavlju. Napatila sam se ja na tom putu, nije da nisam, i plakala i jadikovala i stalno osećala nedostatak te iste ljubavi koju sam tako očajnički tražila, da ne kažem jurila. I malo je falilo da odustanem, da se “pomirim sa sudbinom”, da pristanem na nešto što samo liči na ljubav, ali se brzo istroši. Znate šta je bilo na kraju tog puta? Naišao je princ na belom konju, poljubio me i razbio zle čini… I wish! Ne, ne, ali i to je došlo posle. Posle čega? Posle saznanja da ljubav nije tamo negde i da ljubav ne može niko da mi da; da ljubav nije patnja, da ljubav ne boli, da ljubav nikako ne znači samouništenje zbog nekoga ili nečega. Da se život ne živi zbog drugih i za druge, da je ljubav preduslov života i život sam, da je ljubav u meni, da je ta ljubav veća i od mene i od mog života. Na kraju tog puta sam prihvatila sebe i prigrlila ljubav i rešila da volim, a ne da budem voljena i onda je zaista naišao moj princ, ne baš na belom konju, mada jeste bila zima i padao je sneg kada smo se prvi put poljubili.

I tako, život teče… Uvek me je privlačila ona misao – Život je reka, utopi se ili plivaj! Ono što mi je zadavalo muke, doduše, bilo je što sam veći deo života plivala uzvodno, jer je neko tamo nekada (najverovatnije neki Srbin), rekao da je život težak! Od malena nas mažu ratničkim bojama, a onda odjednom čuješ: uspori, opusti se, uživaj, pomiriši cvet, pogledaj u nebo, poslušaj cvrkut ptica… A ja kažem, filtriraj sve što čuješ, napiši sam svoj scenario, usmeri tu reku  na svoju vodenicu i igraj, igraj, igraj.

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What is life? Birth, joy, sorrow, growing up, pain, love, happiness, suffering, joyfulness, stumbling and rising, death and what next? Eternal questions: does life have meaning, and if so, what is the meaning of life?

Life, it is me. Without me, life does not exist. My life is my meaning. I exist in this life, on this planet with the purpose of living my life the best I can, in the way I choose, and I have chosen love. Uh, well everyone chooses love, you’ll say. Yes, everyone wants love, but some people just wait for love to come to them and accumulate a lot of negative feelings in that wait, and when they get tired of waiting, they agree to everything. While some, like me, set out on a long journey in search of love. I suffered on that journey, it’s not that I didn’t, and I cried and lamented and constantly felt the lack of that same love that I was so desperately looking for, I might as well say chased it. And I almost gave up, I almost “came to terms with my destiny”, almost agreed to something that only looks like love, but quickly wears out. You know what happened at the end of that trip? The prince came on a white horse, kissed me and broke my evil spells… I wish! No, no, but that did come later. After what? After learning that love is not out there somewhere and that no one can give me love; that love is not suffering, that love does not hurt, that love by no means stand for self-destruction for someone or something. That life is not lived for the sake of others and for others, that love is a precondition of life and life itself, that love is in me, that this love is greater than me and my life. At the end of that journey, I accepted myself and embraced love and decided to love, not to be loved, and then my prince really came along, not exactly on a white horse, although it was winter and it was snowing when we first kissed.

And so, life flows… I was always attracted by that thought – Life is a river, drown or swim! What bothered me, however, was that I swam upstream for most of my life, because someone there once (most likely a Serb) said that life is hard! We have been painted with warrior colors since we were little, and then suddenly you hear: slow down, relax, enjoy, smell the flower, look at the sky, listen to the birds chirping… And I say, filter everything you hear, write your own script, direct that river to your mill and play, play, play.

Tijana Stupljanin