Tag: selflove

Život ili smrt / Life or death

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Iz perspektive smrti sve ostalo izgleda kao čista lakrdija.

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From a perspective of a death, everything else is just a mockery.

– Horhe Luis Borhes

Bole me sva tvoja čekanja na prozoru

i gledanja na sat

I sva naša neviđanja, isto tako

Važno mi je samo da znaš,

volela sam te neizmerno i tada

kao i sad

I ni jedna razdaljina

ne može to da promeni,

pa ni ova smrt što je napravi

Čekam tebe sada ja

na prozorima moje duše

i nikada vrata ne zatvaram

Sećanja kad navrate,

vrate na kratko sve naše uspomene,

i tugom i srećom me nahrane,

znam da mi ih ti šalješ

na krilima vihora

iz daleka…

Iz daleka…

A ja ti pesmom pozdrave uzvraćam,

ime tvoje dozivam,

kao ti moje što si nekad

Ako ste ikada potpuno iskreno i beskrajno, detinje, voleli nekoga ko više nije među živima, znate da ljubav ne umire smrću tela. Ta ljubav ostaje sa nama i u nama, rekla bih sve do naše smrti, ali nekako slutim da ta ljubav ostaje utkana u našu dušu i živi sa njom doveka.

Srećan je ko ume da voli – kako je to lepo rekao Hese, samo nije to laka sreća! Kada zaista volite nekoga, kao da nemate izbora, volite i sve njegove mane isto koliko i vrline, i volite i kada vas boli neki njegov postupak, čak i kada se taj neko ružno ponese prema vama (ne mislim ovde na bilo koju vrstu zlostavljanja! Tu nema LJ od ljubavi i tačka!). Ljubav tada i zaboli, ali to nas boli naša ljubav koja nosi i veliku odgovornost, jer mi imamo priliku da kroz tu ljubav porastemo, prihvatajući nesavršenost onoga koga volimo, prihvatamo i svoje slabosti i podižemo se na jedan novi nivo u odnosima sa svim ljudima koji su u našim životima. Ako uspemo da prođemo kroz tu bol, a zadržimo ljubav, uradili smo veliku stvar, jer smo tada dali krila toj ljubavi i biću koje volimo, da poleti do visina svoje duše.

Nema boljeg leka od razumevanja i praštanja, a bez ljubavi nema ničega. Smrt ne boli, smrt samo opominje, podučava, podseća da smo sada u ovom trenutku još živi i da imamo mogućnost da biramo kako ćemo živeti. Kada pogledam šta ljudi na samrti kažu o životu, zaključujem, ono što moja duša već zna, da život bez ljubavi prema sebi i ljubavi prema ljudima oko sebe, nema mnogo smisla. Ne morate imati muža ili decu, da biste živeli smisleno, volite to što imate, budite dobri prema sebi, svojim roditeljima, sestrama, braći, prijateljima, ako nemate ni njih, volite svoje komšije, svoje ljubimce, ljude koje srećete na ulici, prodavačice, ako vam je i to teško, volite svoja dela, svoj posao, uložite svu svoju ljubav u nešto što će se utkati u nečiju dušu i nastaviti da živi i kad vas više ne bude.

Za mene je samo ljubav smisao života, a koliko ćemo ljubavi imati u životu zavisi samo od nas. Da, ja sam srećna jer umem da volim, ali da mi je uvek lako, nije, nekada zaboravim da dam sebi malo te podrške i ljubavi, nekada uradim nešto što me razočara i zaboli, nekada čekam da mi je neko drugi pruži, samo to ne funkcioniše tako. Ako ne volimo sebe onom beskrajnom, detinjom ljubavlju sa početka priče, nećemo prepoznati ili nećemo ceniti ni ljubav koju nam drugi daju. I još nešto, ako ne negujemo ljubav prema sebi, nećemo imati dovoljno ljubavi kojom ćemo razumeti, podržavati i praštati onima koji našoj ljubavi/životu daju smisao.

P.S. Volim te

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All yours waiting at the window hurts me,
looking at the clock too
And all the time we didn’t spent together, as well
It is important to me for you to know just this,
I loved you indefinitely then
as I do now
And there is no distance
that can change this,
not even the one death had made
Now I wait for you
at the windows of my soul
and I never close the door
When memories burst in,
bringing back for a moment all our reminiscences,
filling me with sadness and with happiness,
I know you are sending them my way
on the whirlwind’s wings
from far away…
From far away…
And I salute you in return with this song,
and I shout out your name,
as you once shouted mine

If you had ever completely true and infinitely, childlike, loved someone who is no longer among living, you know that love does not die with the body. That love stays with us and within us until we die, I would say, but somehow I sense that this love stays woven into our soul and lives with it forever.

Happy is the one who can love – as beautifully said by Hesse, however, it is not easy luck! When you really love someone, as if you don’t have a choice, you love all his downsides as much as his virtues and you love him even if you are hurt by some of his actions, even when that someone has mistreated you (just to be clear, I do not talk here about any kind of abuse! Where there is abuse, there is no mention of love, period!). When that happens, love hurts, but what hurts is our own love that carries a big responsibility, because we have the opportunity to grow through this love, by accepting the imperfections of our loved one, we also accept our own weaknesses and we rise up to a new level of relationship with all the people in our lives. If we manage to pass through that pain and keep the love, we have done a great thing, because then we gave wings to that love and to that someone we love, so he can fly to the heights of his soul.

There is no better remedy than understanding and forgiving, and without love, there is nothing. Death does not hurt, death warns, teaches, reminds that we are now, at this moment still alive and that we have the possibility to choose how we are going to live. When I see what people at their deathbed are saying about life, I conclude – what my soul already knows, that life without love for the self and for the people around, has very little sense. You don’t have to have a husband or kids to have a meaningful life, you can love what you have, be good to yourself, your parents, sisters, brothers, friends, and if you don’t have any of those people, love your neighbors, your pets, people you meet on the street, a saleswoman, if that’s too hard for you, love your deeds, your work, invest all your love in something that will touch someone’s soul and continue to live even when you are gone.

To me, love is the only purpose of life, and how much love will we have in life depends solely on us. Yes, I am happy because I know how to love, however it does not come always easy, sometimes I forget to give to myself a bit of that support and love, sometimes I do something that disappoints and hurts me, at times I wait for someone to give me that love, only it doesn’t work that way. If we don’t love ourselves with that infinite, childlike love from the beginning of this story, we will never recognize or appreciate the love somebody else is giving to us. And one more thing, if we don’t cherish self-love, we will not have enough love to understand, support and forgive to those who give our love/life a purpose.

P.S. I love you

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” ―Albert Einstein

“Mašta je mnogo važnija od znanja. Jer je znanje ograničeno onime što trenutno znamo i razumemo, dok mašta obuhvata ceo svet i sve što će ikada moći da se sazna i razume.” – Albert Anštajn

“You have the power to design a new life for yourself. Forget limiting yourself. Forget being reasonable. Forget being realistic. It is time to use your imagination and pretend that you get to have a better life now, because you do.” ―Daeryl Holzer

“Imate moć da dizajnirate novi život za sebe. Zaboravite na ograničavanje sebe. Zaboravite na razum. Zaboravite na realističnost. Vreme je da koristiti svoju maštu i pretvarajte se da možete imati bolji život sada, zato što možete.” – Deril Holzer

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.” ―George Bernard Shaw

“Mašta je početak kreacije. Zamisliš ono što želiš, zaželiš ono što si zamislio i na kraju stvoriš ono što si želeo.” – Džordž Bernard Šo

“If you fall in love with the imagination, you understand that it is a free spirit. It will go anywhere, and it can do anything.” ―Alice Walker

“Ako se zaljubiš u maštu, onda razumeš da je ona slobodnog duha. Otićiće bilo kuda i može da uradi bilo šta.” – Alisa Voker

“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” ―Richard Bach

“Da bi privukao bilo šta u svoj život, zamisli da ga već imaš.” – Ričard Bah

Teorija o životu uopšte / A theory of life in general

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Šta je život? Rođenje, radost, tuga, odrastanje, bol, ljubav, sreća, patnja, radost, padanje i ustajanje, smrt i šta posle? Večita pitanja: da li život ima smisla, i ako ima koji je to smisao?

Život to sam ja. Bez mene život i ne postoji. Moj život je moj smisao. Ja postojim u ovom životu, na ovoj planeti sa svrhom da živim svoj život najbolje što mogu, na način koji izaberem, a ja sam odabrala ljubav. Uh, pa svi biraju ljubav, reći ćete. Da, svi žele ljubav, ali neki ljudi samo čekaju da im ljubav dođe i nakupe puno negativnih osećanja u tom čekanju, a kada im čekanje dosadi, pristaju na sve. Dok neki, poput mene, krenu na daaalek put u potrazi za ljubavlju. Napatila sam se ja na tom putu, nije da nisam, i plakala i jadikovala i stalno osećala nedostatak te iste ljubavi koju sam tako očajnički tražila, da ne kažem jurila. I malo je falilo da odustanem, da se “pomirim sa sudbinom”, da pristanem na nešto što samo liči na ljubav, ali se brzo istroši. Znate šta je bilo na kraju tog puta? Naišao je princ na belom konju, poljubio me i razbio zle čini… I wish! Ne, ne, ali i to je došlo posle. Posle čega? Posle saznanja da ljubav nije tamo negde i da ljubav ne može niko da mi da; da ljubav nije patnja, da ljubav ne boli, da ljubav nikako ne znači samouništenje zbog nekoga ili nečega. Da se život ne živi zbog drugih i za druge, da je ljubav preduslov života i život sam, da je ljubav u meni, da je ta ljubav veća i od mene i od mog života. Na kraju tog puta sam prihvatila sebe i prigrlila ljubav i rešila da volim, a ne da budem voljena i onda je zaista naišao moj princ, ne baš na belom konju, mada jeste bila zima i padao je sneg kada smo se prvi put poljubili.

I tako, život teče… Uvek me je privlačila ona misao – Život je reka, utopi se ili plivaj! Ono što mi je zadavalo muke, doduše, bilo je što sam veći deo života plivala uzvodno, jer je neko tamo nekada (najverovatnije neki Srbin), rekao da je život težak! Od malena nas mažu ratničkim bojama, a onda odjednom čuješ: uspori, opusti se, uživaj, pomiriši cvet, pogledaj u nebo, poslušaj cvrkut ptica… A ja kažem, filtriraj sve što čuješ, napiši sam svoj scenario, usmeri tu reku  na svoju vodenicu i igraj, igraj, igraj.

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What is life? Birth, joy, sorrow, growing up, pain, love, happiness, suffering, joyfulness, stumbling and rising, death and what next? Eternal questions: does life have meaning, and if so, what is the meaning of life?

Life, it is me. Without me, life does not exist. My life is my meaning. I exist in this life, on this planet with the purpose of living my life the best I can, in the way I choose, and I have chosen love. Uh, well everyone chooses love, you’ll say. Yes, everyone wants love, but some people just wait for love to come to them and accumulate a lot of negative feelings in that wait, and when they get tired of waiting, they agree to everything. While some, like me, set out on a long journey in search of love. I suffered on that journey, it’s not that I didn’t, and I cried and lamented and constantly felt the lack of that same love that I was so desperately looking for, I might as well say chased it. And I almost gave up, I almost “came to terms with my destiny”, almost agreed to something that only looks like love, but quickly wears out. You know what happened at the end of that trip? The prince came on a white horse, kissed me and broke my evil spells… I wish! No, no, but that did come later. After what? After learning that love is not out there somewhere and that no one can give me love; that love is not suffering, that love does not hurt, that love by no means stand for self-destruction for someone or something. That life is not lived for the sake of others and for others, that love is a precondition of life and life itself, that love is in me, that this love is greater than me and my life. At the end of that journey, I accepted myself and embraced love and decided to love, not to be loved, and then my prince really came along, not exactly on a white horse, although it was winter and it was snowing when we first kissed.

And so, life flows… I was always attracted by that thought – Life is a river, drown or swim! What bothered me, however, was that I swam upstream for most of my life, because someone there once (most likely a Serb) said that life is hard! We have been painted with warrior colors since we were little, and then suddenly you hear: slow down, relax, enjoy, smell the flower, look at the sky, listen to the birds chirping… And I say, filter everything you hear, write your own script, direct that river to your mill and play, play, play.

Tijana Stupljanin