Koliko vredim? / What is my worth?

Onoliko koliko volite sebe – tolika je vaša cena – i život poštuje tu cenu.

–  Miguel Ruiz, Moć Ljubavi

How much you love yourself – such is your price – and life respects that price.

– Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship –Toltec Wisdom Book

Da li znate priču o žabici koja je pobedila u trci i jedina stigla do cilja? (The Frogs’ Race by Dulce Rodrigues) Priča ide otprilike ovako: u šumi je bila organizovana trka, žabica koja uspe da se prva popne na visoki toranj je pobednik. Trka je počela, međutim publika je, umesto da bodri takmičare, poput nekog starog mrzovoljnog žapca, počela da dovikuje – žabe ne mogu da se penju, nikada nećete uspeti, spore ste, to je nemoguće, šta zamišljate ko ste i slična omalovažavanja. Polako su jedna po jedna žabica odustajale i napuštale trku. Na kraju je ostala samo jedna žabica koja se uopšte nije osvrtala već je hrabro išla napred. Kada se popela na vrh i stigla na cilj okrenula se i shvatila da je pobedila, bila je presrećna i zadovoljna, mada malo tužna što ni jedna druga žabica nije stigla na cilj. Svi su se pitali po čemu je posebna baš ta žabica, da bi shvatili da je ona gluva i da nije čula negativne povike i obeshrabrivanje iz publike, već je slušala samo svoj unutrašnji glas koji ju je konstantno bodrio!

Čovek je društveno biće, od kada se rodimo usmereni smo na druge ljude. Dete svet otkriva kroz svoj odnos sa majkom pre svega, pa onda i sa ocem, najbližom porodicom, zatim sa vršnjacima, učiteljima, nastavnicima, komšijama i svim ljudima koje u životu, makar i na kratko, sreće. Svi znamo iz sopstvenog iskustva koliko nam znači pohvala, razumevanje, neko da nas sasluša, neko da nas samo zagrli, neko ko nam je u bilo kojoj sferi autoritet da nam da potvrdu da smo nešto dobro uradili… A šta kada sve to izostane?

Da li nas je iko učio kako da budemo uvek svesni svoje vrednosti i kako da sebi budemo najveća podrška? Često se dogodi u životu da roditelji, koliko god dobri i dobronamerni bili, našem vaspitavanju prilaze iz sopstvenih ograničenja, negativnih iskustava, strahova, pa i iz neznanja. Sigurno ima i onih koji se rode sa neverovatnim samopouzdanjem i verom u sebe i sopstvenu veličinu, kao i onih koje roditelji, ili neki drugi autoritet, uspeju da zadoje ovim vrednostima, ali verujem da je za većinu nas bilo potrebno mnogo saplitanja, učenja, padanja i ustajanja dok nismo spoznali svoju istinsku vrednost i podesili svoj život prema njoj.

Slušala sam nedavno govor Arnolda Švarcenegera u kome je govorio o uspehu. Fasciniralo me je to što su njemu u uspehu u stvari pomogle baš one osobine koje su svi isticali kao njegove mane. I šta bi sa njim bilo da je umesto sebe poslušao sve te druge koji su mu govorili da neće uspeti zbog jakog austrijskog naglaska, zbog prevelikih mišića, neobičnog imena, itd., a on je od bolešljivog, mršavog dečaka iz siromašnog sela u Austriji postao jedan od najplaćenijih glumaca na svetu i guverner Los Anđelesa! On je imao veliku viziju svog života i naporno je radio da je ostvari, ali čini mi se od svega, da mu je najviše pomoglo to što nije slušao ljude koji su mu govorili da neće uspeti i davali mu, pri tom, vrlo realne razloge zašto neće uspeti! Jedino je bilo važno da on sebe vidi kao Mister Univerzuma, glavnog glumca, guvernera…

Toliko je uspešnih priča svuda oko nas i to najviše tamo gde ih najmanje očekujemo. Ljudi koji dožive povredu i doktori im kažu da više nikada neće hodati samostalno, a oni postanu trkači, gimnastičarka sa veštačkom nogom, milioneri koji su odrastali u bedi, ljudi koji dožive najveću tragediju, a onda tu svoju tragediju pretvore u nešto veće od života, ljude koji prežive nemoguće situacije i one koji urade neviđene stvari… Međutim, isto tako imate ljude kojima su doktori greškom rekli da će umreti za mesec dana i oni zaista umru, iako su u stvari bili zdravi, ili veoma talentovane ljude koji padnu u depresiju ili se okrenu porocima i nikada ne dostignu svoj puni potencijal.

Kada smo deca uče nas da slušamo druge. Ja sam prva koja deci skoro svakodnevno govori koliko je važno da slušaju svoje roditelje, ali ih takođe učim da su oni najbolje od nas dvoje i da imaju potencijal kada porastu da budu bolji i pametniji od nas. Isto tako ih učim da čuju svakoga, ali da uvek procene da li to što čuju od drugih korespondira sa njihovim unutrašnjim glasom. Problem nastaje kada mi zaboravimo svoju vrednost sa kojom dolazimo na ovaj svet i počnemo da se oslanjamo na ono što drugi ljude misle ili govore o nama. Možda će nas drugi i preceniti, ipak je veća verovatnoća da će nas podceniti, ali ni jedna od ove dve varijante neće nas usrećiti. Kao što istinsku sreću možemo jedino pronaći u sebi, duboki mir spoznati iznutra, tako i sopstvenu vrednost moramo osetiti u sebi i onda je podeliti sa svetom, a to ćemo uspeti ako se podsetimo svakodnevno ko smo, povezujući se sa sobom, vraćajući se suštini i osluškujući svoju dušu. Tehnika za to ima danas baš koliko hoćeš! Meni su najdraže: ples slobodnim stilom uz muziku koja me podiže, razgovor sa svojim odrazom u ogledalu, pevanje, crtanje ili slikanje, pisanje, yoga, šetnja, gledanje u prirodu…

Henri Ford je jedan od najuspešnijih ljudi ikada i znao je svoju vrednost, evo šta je on rekao o tome: “Mene ne brine šta drugi misle o meni, zato što znam svoju pravu vrednost. A milijarder sam postao zato što znam s novcem i umem da razlikujem prave vrednosti od lažnih.”

Na kraju, vredimo onoliko koliko smo zadovoljni sobom i koliko uživamo u životu. Ako se nekada dogodi da pokleknete pred životom i niste u stanju da volite sebe, pogledajte u oči onih koje volite i koji vole vas, oslušnite šta će vam reći, oni vide u nama svu našu lepotu i dobrotu i kada nismo u svom najboljem izdanju. Ljubav će nas podsetiti na najlepši mogući način na to ko smo i koliko smo dragoceni.

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Do you know the story of a frog who won the race and was the only one to reach the finish line? (The Frogs’ Race by Dulce Rodrigues) The story goes something like this: a race was organized in the woods, the frog that manages to climb the high tower first is the winner. The race started, but the audience, instead of cheering on the competitors, like an old grumpy frog, started shouting – frogs can’t climb, you will never succeed, you are slow, it is impossible, who do you imagine you are and similar insults. Slowly, one by one, the frogs gave up and left the race. In the end, there was only one frog left, which did not look back at all, but went forward bravely. When she climbed to the top and reached the finish line, she turned around and realized that she had won, she was overjoyed and satisfied, although a little sad that no other frog had reached the finish line. Everyone wondered what made that frog special, and they discovered that she was deaf and that she did not hear negative shouts and discouragement from the audience, but only listened to her inner voice, which constantly encouraged her!

Man is a social being; from the minute we are born we are focused on other people. The child discovers the world through his relationship with his mother first of all, and then with his father, the closest family, then with his peers, caregivers, teachers, neighbors and all the people he meets in life, even for a short time. We all know from our own experience how much praise and understanding means to us, someone to listen to us, someone to just hug us, someone who is our authority in any sphere to confirm that we have done something good… And what if all that is missing?

Has anyone taught us how to always be aware of our values ​​and how to be our greatest support? It often happens in life that parents, no matter how good and well-intention they are, approach our upbringing out of their own limitations, negative experiences, fears, and even out of ignorance. Sure, there are those who are born with incredible self-confidence and faith in themselves and their own greatness, as well as those whose parents, or some other authority, manage to instill these values in them, but I believe that most of us needed a lot of tripping, learning, falling and rising until we realized our true value and adjusted our lives to it.

I recently listened to a speech by Arnold Schwarzenegger in which he spoke about success. I was fascinated by the fact that the very qualities that everyone has pointed out as his shortcomings actually helped him in his success. And what would have happened to him if he had listened to all those others who told him that he would not succeed because of his strong Austrian accent, because of his oversized muscles, his unusual name, etc. Instead he has went from sickly, skinny boy from a poor village in Austria to one of the highest paid actors in the world and the governor of Los Angeles! He had a great vision of his life and worked hard to make it happen, but it seems to me that what helped him the most was that he did not listen to people who told him that he would not succeed and gave him, at the same time, very real reasons why it will not work! The only thing that mattered was that he saw himself as Mr. Universe, the main actor, the governor and fallowed that vision…

There are so many success stories all around us, mostly where we least expect them. People who get injured and doctors tell them that they will never walk on their own again, and they become runners, a gymnast with an artificial leg, millionaires who grew up in misery, people who experience the greatest tragedy, and then turn their tragedy into something bigger than life, people who survive impossible situations and those who do unseen things… However, you also have people who were mistakenly told by doctors that they would die in a month and they do die, even though they were actually healthy, or very talented people who fall into depression or turn to vices and never reach their full potential.

When we are children they teach us to listen to others. I am the first one who tells their children almost every day how important it is to listen to their parents, but I also teach them that they are the best of the two of us and that they have the potential when they grow up to be better and smarter than us. I also teach them to hear everyone, but to always assess whether what they hear from others corresponds to their inner voice. The problem arises when we forget our value with which we come to this world and begin to rely on what other people think or say about us. Maybe others will overestimate us, but they are more likely to underestimate us, however neither of these two variants will make us happy. Just as we can only find true happiness in ourselves, know deep peace from within, so we must feel our own value in ourselves and then share it with the world, and we will succeed if we remind ourselves every day who we are, connecting with ourselves, returning to the essence and listening to our soul. There is a plenty of techniques for that today, just as much as you want! My favorites are: freestyle dancing with music that lifts me up, talking to my reflection in the mirror, singing, drawing or painting, writing, yoga, walking (preferably in nature)…

Henry Ford is one of the most successful people ever and he knew his value, here’s what he said about it: “I don’t care what others think of me, because I know my true value. And I became a billionaire because I am knowledgeable with money and I can distinguish true values ​​from false ones.”

We are worth as much as we are satisfied with ourselves and as much as we enjoy life. If you ever happen to kneel before life and you are not able to love yourself, look into the eyes of your loved ones and those who love you, listen to what they will tell you, they see in us all our beauty and goodness even when we are not at our best. Love will remind us in the most beautiful way as possible of who we are and how precious we are.

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